If there was a chance, or an opportunity to turn back time, and salvage many of the friendships I could perhaps not have lost, I would like too. You are probably wondering, as the title suggests, What would I tell my (past) self. What would I stop her doing? Prevent her doing? Observe, evaluate. The would tell her the following:
To my college self:
•Being defensive is okay, but why do you feel you have to over defend? What are you defending?
Who are you defending?
Why? What are you protecting?
For what reasons? Do you always need to defend?
When is defence overstepping the line.
•What is making you anxious? Frustrated?
Why are you frustrated? What are you struggling with, that you perhaps don’t want to admit you’re struggling with?
•You feel threatened, or that someone is using their authority in a way you do not like, who, and why?
•You must respect they are in an authoritative position, IE, a teacher, or a warden, so you must comply, no-matter how much you disagree. That would make my past self annoyed, defensive, agressive: “Why should I? They should not be bossing me around.” would be my usual past self’s response.
all these questions, I’d have asked the Samantha, who attended Hereford. I would have also wondered, would her leaving home, have contributed, but even so, that’s not an excuse.
Questions, and perhaps more questions, as I get further on in my studies, evaluating past experiences. What do you all think? For once, I end my blog with a question, not a fact, statement, or answer. I’ll let you do thats