guessing on how it must be.

The other day I heard in an article from Headway, about the drama Recovery, that was done by the BBC in 2009. I decided to watch it, and found it. The start, I totally expected. The classic, textbook questions from family, “will they wake up? When?” but the question, that is hidden beneath anyones’ lips, that they refuse to ask, letalone answer, is: “will they be the same?” The answers, to all those questions, from any consultant is, “I can’t say”

While the person who has suffered the ABI, or TBI in the first place, is oblivious, not having to worry, not having to listen, not anywhere, all everyone on the outside can do, is watch, hope, wait, and most of all, pray.. Hour by Hour, day by agonising day, night by night. The ticking of clocks, beeping of machines probably sound magnified and painful with every cycle.

Then; you see something, a finger moves? an eye opens? are they coming round? You wait, calling for people, who rush to your aid, and start working. But suddenly, before you can do anything, all mayhem breaks loose. Agitation fills the room, and extreme distress. There’s nothing you can do, but stand back, and let them explain all to you. That the ICU nurses are used to this, that it happens a lot. But not to you! Not to the person in front of you. As quick as it comes, it dissipates. Calm is once again restored, for a time.

For the person from their prospective it must be the following:

That one minute they’re out, having a good time, when suddenly:

A pain; Ringing in their ears; Then…

Lights flashing; beeping; peoples’ voices; mumbling words you can’t understand; words turn to sound, in and out of focus; feelings of something obstructing their ability to breathe!

The question, “Why can’t I breathe!” must be filling their head. Also, “Where am I! Who are these people? What are all these things around me! Why are there these bright lights!” Their brain is overloaded with sensory activity. Then, perhaps a flashback of life before, before what? What’s happened? Life before what! Why am I here! where ever “here” is. What for?

I’m guessing that’s what it’s like, having listened to enough television documentaries, but I cannot ever say. It wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t be right. I can only guess, and it must be horrible. Terrifying. I can say however, that having listened to those documentaries, has inspired me more, to want to go into neurorehabilitation, to want to show people there is light at the end of a dark tunnel. that you can recover, if not properly, but enough. I want to instil the drive that I have for success, into them. There is enjoyment, pleasure, and you will find it. I have disabilities. I am blind, I have epilepsy, but that is not stopping me from doing a degree is it? No. I am able to get around on my own. You may think I can’t. I am able to dress, shower, etc. You again, may think I find those things difficult. I do not. I just do them differently. For example, putting jumpers on, is not that hard. The lable that is located on the bottom left side, on the inside of the jumper, is what you look for, if you can’t find one in the neck.

For trousers, you find the lable on the inside, at the back, or the zips at the front. If you want more tips on doing certain things without sight, and if I know them, ask.

I just thought to write on how much I was inspired by documentaries I’ve watched. Yes, I am not in the situation of people that have been there, got the shirt, so I can’t say for definite, but my guess is probably accurate? If I can make anyone happier, and make their lives better, by instilling my drive to succeed into them, then I will feel rewarded. All I want, is to feel their joy at achieving, their joy at success, knowing I have played a part. Knowing, that thanks to me, and a few other people, their lives will be better, and richer, or at least, as much as they can be.


About samantha ash

I'm 24 years old, totally blind, and suffer from Epilepsy, which is controlled. My interests include Neurology, Psychology, anything to do with the weather, and other documentaries. I am also a classical singer, though not professional. I am studying towards a degree in Neuropsychology at University of Central Lancashire. I wish eventually, to pursue a career in neurorehabilitation, or in neuropsychology, in order to help those who have sustained traumatic brain injuries, Acquired Brain injuries, stroke, and other neurological conditions. I wish to help them to cope psychologically too, and help them to see the positive side to the life that they have now. As someone with a disability myself, I wish to tell those, "Do not say that you cannot do something. I do not wish to hear that. I wish to hear that you can, and you will succeed." If you enjoy what I post on here, feel free to comment, or contact me on or feel free to like my facebook page. Enjoy reading. :)
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